An inside look at the musings, ramblings and daily life of one terribly confused boy.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Makeup Review- Slytherin Greens, Lush Purples and Velvety Blacks (Plus a few Eyeliners)

So its been a while since I have done anything productive on here, so I thought I would add a new makeup review for you guys!

Any of you who know me personally would know that I HATE that there are literally only a handful of good, vibrant green eyeshadows that dont look terrible. This has been a big issue for me and my want to do Slytherin inspired makeup. Today, I managed to find a palette that had TWO amazing greens in it.


The palette is called "Forest Fury" by Maybelline EyeStudio. All of them have shimmer, but the darkest green the shimmer is barely present. Seeing as I hate shimmery eyeshadows 90% of the time, this makes me really happy. They all are gold-based so they are less of a primary green and more of a yellow-green, but its wonderful. They are highly pigmented save for the two highlights, and those are REALLY pale. The glitter is really densely glittery but needs a good primer beneath it or to be used wet.

Next up is a palette from the same brand but the name is "Amethyst Ablazed" And holy shit these purples are LUSH.


Some of my favourite purples now, hands down. The glitter at the top of the palette is amazing, previously Uzi by Urban Decay was my favourite glitter, but this beats it out easily. The darkest purple is (unsurprisingly) my favourite but that glitter. That glitter.

Overall, these palettes get a 8 out of 10 from me. They are blendable, vibrant and rich, but they definitely need a primer underneath or to be used wet if you want an intense look.

Next up? My new favourite black eyeshadow.


Its by L'Oreal, the colour is Lush Raven (So fantastically goth, right?) And not only is it one of the deepest matte blacks I have found, but its super blendable and does not fade! It works amazingly wet and does even better over a primer. 9 out of 10 from me on this one.


These are some of my staples, at least, the ScandalEyes are. They are creamy and smooth, go on like BUTTER and dry to a powder-soft colour. When wet, they blend like a dream and make really good bases for shadows. I want to try the black for lips, but I havent had a chance to yet.  The two colours shown are "Blackmail" and "Tempting Turquoise"  7.5 out of 10 for these two.

The Nyx white eyeliner is just that, a white eyeliner. Its blendable and smooth, but could do with being a bit more solid. 6 out of 10 for this.

The last is a liquid felt tip eyeliner by Hard Candy called Stroke of Gorgeous. The colour is "Storm". I expected it to be a brighter shade of purple, but it ended up being a very dark, sultry plum colour. This shit does NOT rub off. It's waterproof, solid and really easy to use. 8 out of 10 for this.

All in all, new makeup was a good thing. Definitely found some new things I plan to use often! I hope you guys enjoyed this awfully rambly post!


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Comfy Bun

March is doing much better today and has taken to sitting in his food bowl. He's a strange one.  He has been eating a good amount today, which is a decided change from yesterday.
We had a bad storm last night and he sat out of his crate with us for at least three hours just chilling and grooming my hand. Our power went out briefly but there wasn't really any damage during the storm. 
Anyways, I may update later with some Animal Crossing stuff.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

涙の向う側に 幸せはあるの

This morning, my rabbit, Embryo died.

I guess I sort of saw it coming, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I really needed something to take care of after Mom died, it's therapeutic for me to have something relying on me, but with Embryo dying as well, it hit a little too hard. I had a hard time, and am still having a hard time, with understanding at a baser level that I was not abandoned, that I did everything in my power that I could do for my rabbit. I know how illogical it is, but that is just one of the many joys of living with BPD.

I know that Cernunnos is watching over him now as he hops around in tall grass, eating clover flowers and basking in the sun. He is much better where he is now, than where he was. I also know that he died in loving hands and knowing that both of his Dads loved him very very much.

I worry about how March is going to handle being alone now, they were inseparable. We have had him outside a lot, letting him munch on dandelion leaves and just sit wherever he wanted. I hope he will  be alright. He has been having some similar issues to the ones Embryo presented that spurred us to take him to the vet. I cant afford another vet visit at the moment, not even close, but we are babying him and keeping a  close eye on him.

Sorry that this was my first blog post in well over a year, but I am not too sure how many people read this sort of drabble anyway.


Thursday, August 18, 2011

tongue spltting

I am making an appt next month to get my tongue split with Steve Haworth, who is one of my idols. I am so beyond everything right now that i cant even begin to explain.

a few people have asked if they can pitch in to help me afford this and i made a Chipin for it. This is a mod i have wanted since i was a child. its so amazing to actually be able to say i can get it done.

Monday, June 27, 2011


"Its too formal..." i said under my breath and swirled the last of the whiskey from the glass down my throat. "Too set up... its...." The chair opposite me slid harshly, dragging across age old floor boards. Funny how a century old bar was too formal....

"Ah.. I'm.." He started and I stopped him.

"I know who you are... Its my name you'll be wondering of I'm sure." I said with clear, precise words. "Just call me Georgie. Most people do." It was funny how my words betrayed my head.  So calm and clear they rang out and so buzzy and wrong my head felt....

He smiled faintly and i called for another drink... or two.

"I wont keep you long. I know you are a busy man with stars in your eyes and I am a very uninteresting boy with a life to pretend I'm leading."  I gathered my thoughts. I gathered my breath as best i could and brought my grey eyes up to his brown. "It's all just trivial, this whole meeting.. I know I dont stand a single chance at anything other than a brief hello now and again If i ever see you again. I dont want a single thing except a few minutes to explain... If you are anything like me... And for some reason i dont think we are too different, you would want someone much less dangerous. someone who didnt know every word you ever sang... you would want someone unattached to this... We are all vultures here... we hang on every word from you... we wait for you to strain out one more song... one more word..." I talked too fast... my head kept going light on me... I downed my drink and brought my shaking hand up to his chest, just over his heart. "We wait for this... for a brief glimpse of what could be going on in here...." I said and took my hand away, placing it on my head "So that we can figure out for ourselves... what's going on up here..."  he looked at the table, possibly taking it all in... thinking.... something...perhaps trying to figure out why he agreed to this whole ordeal.

"We want all you are... all you were...all you could be..." I said with a sad smile "Me, maybe moreso than most... because I know that feeling all too well. The whole world drained me dry of all i could feel and now I dont know how to feel... So i look to what you gave us and draw from that. You reminded me that i can feel, that i can live... hell. that i can thrive." My hands were shaking like leaves in a hurricane. the bar seemed ten times too bright... "That when its all ending... its not really ending. its just changing. So... You may not think you are any of what we say you are... but to me... you'll always be you. You'll always be human. And someone just like me. Thank you."  I stood up and looked into his eyes. trying to grab onto anything he had shining through there and all i saw was what i felt. a jittering heart and a racing head.


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Just like Heaven...

He was there, wrapped up so beautifully in gauze and flower petals... his eyes averted and his expression nervous... He was there as a gift to me, for my birthday.

I couldnt see him... but my heart was stilling itself to listen for any sign of his presence... it was stilling out of disbelief. As the box fell aside and she smiled, pushing me gently towards him, my heart finally fell silent. I stood in disbelief. I stood in horror.

A timid smile crossed his scarlet painted lips and he parted them to sing. to try and make my birthday what they had all planned it to be.

Half a note in, not even half a word in, and my eyes were great rushing waterfalls. I fell to the floor and cried. i stared and cried and took every single breath of his into my lungs, hoping it would keep me alive just for those few more moments. I couldnt bare to miss any of it. To know that I left the world for the few second he was mine?....

He smiled again and approached me, offering his hand to aid my stability and I froze solid. "Why wont you ever know that I'm in love with you...?" Chills tore down my skin like a semi on the freeway and i swallowed the lump in my throat....

I raised my hand to his cheek, our eyes meeting and tried my hardest to stifle my tears....  He looked so sad that even in those moments, I was crying.  "Please dont..." he said, his accent thick and calming, but a vivid reminder of our distance. "I'm here... I dont know why I was ever so far away from here...." He pressed his lips to my cheek and i shut my eyes.

A loud crack brought me to my senses and I was there alone. Sitting with my left hand on my cheek. No fading warmth of our last embrace there... no silky residue of lipstick. Just the same, familiar feel of less than perfect skin and emptiness. I fell to the floor. It had all been a dream.

just a dream......

Saturday, June 11, 2011


  I do so much for my vanity, one of the longest running things is my ear stretching. Its been almost a decade now and I'm still going!!

Right now I have gone far past my initial goal as a naive little babybat (which was 00) and even past the goal i set after that! (1") and am now at 1 3/4" and headed towards 2"! that will be my absolute largest though.

I have been told my so many people that stretched ears and piercings aren't goth. I dont think they are anything other than a personal choice, and thats what mine will remain as. Not a fashion trend, not a desperate, clawing attempt at a higher 'goth score'.

Regardless, i jumped a mm more than i had intended to today so my ears are sore and a bit throbby. I have been putting cold things on them and plan on using some jojoba oil to keep them hydrated.

Sorry about the lack of blog posts btw. Life has been so busy what with Oogie and CSC taking off once again. Hopefully I'll start posting more.

until then, have a photo to leave off with.